Conservatives are higher achievers, even in the bedroom

Conservatism leads to success.

It’s science.

Now, we have (un)scientific proof that conservatives also achieve more where it counts: in the bedroom.

A survey found that people identifying as more conservative “achieve” 53% of the time, while liberals are only successful 40% of the time.

Maybe it’s that whole thing about personal responsibility.

So, in this wonderful microcosm (see what I did there?) of life, conservatives get the job done more often than not, while the liberals are rarely satisfied and usually left wondering what the hell happened.

Unfortunately, the survey also found conservatives have sex least often (not surprising), but apparently enjoy it more than anyone else.

This was all pressingly important information, I know, but at least you know when you’re arguing with your liberal friends that they’re losing more than just the political argument.

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2 thoughts on “Conservatives are higher achievers, even in the bedroom

  1. Veronica says:

    Conservatives have to be satisfied with the sex they’re having if they’re not getting it on the regular 🙂

  2. RR says:

    As a conservative, I’d like to believe this, but as Lynn Gazis-Sax points out:

    we don’t know whether the survey was controlled for gender. Men have orgasms more regularly than women do and conservatives are significantly more likely to be male. Until we know more details about the survey, I will remain dubious. Remember this gem:

    I can imagine a NY Times headline: “Are Conservatives are sex crazed racist idiots?”

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